Why Reward Systems Hurt ND Kids

At first glance, reward charts and sticker systems seem like a great way to encourage positive behaviour.

But here’s the problem: if we assume that children do well when they can, what happens to that reward system when they can’t?

When rewards are tied to behaviours that some children struggle with, the message can quickly become damaging.

For a neurodivergent child, the “positive behaviour” may actually be something that’s difficult—if not impossible—for them to achieve consistently or sometimes at all.

And it is often those basics that appear on sticker charts that our ND kids struggle with – personal hygiene, caring for their possessions, organisation and being tidy, chores and homework.

The result of an unfilled sticker chart on the fridge? Instead of encouragement, the inability to comply and get the reward becomes a source of shame for your child. A reminder of their struggles.

Over time, this chips away at self-esteem and reinforces the idea that they are “broken” for not fitting into a neurotypical mould.

What’s a good alternative? Working with your child to collaborate on solutions to those nagging daily issues you hoped the sticker chart might solve. Our parent course goes in to detail on the ‘Four Steps to Better Outcomes’ model, which might just let you bin that reward chart for good.