Why advocating is so hard
You know that ache in your chest—the one that says, “I need to speak up about this” but then... nothing comes out? Or maybe it starts strong, then fizzles. Or perhaps you muddle it, and you feel even more misunderstood afterward?
Advocating for our neurodivergent kids is brave, vital work. But the path from wanting to advocate (or being told to step up and do so) to feeling confident about it? Not so easy.
Why advocating can feel so hard:
Fear of being labelled or dismissed
"Will they label me as that parent?" or “Are they going to hear me, or just write me off?”
I’ll screw it up
Just like for our ND kids when emotions run high, our thinking brain steps aside, and our stress brain takes over—“fight, flight, freeze!” Suddenly, words disappear, clarity blurs, and we feel overwhelmed.Am I asking too much?
We know our child best. Yet, internally, we question—is this “too much”? “Too pushy”? “Am I even allowed to ask for that?”
Here are some scripts you might use or adapt:
With teachers:
“I’ve noticed my child is being given lunchtime detentions for forgetting homework. For him, the executive function challenges make remembering the homework the hardest part. Could we look at a support plan instead of a punishment system?”
“She comes home saying she’s not allowed to use her noise-cancelling headphones in class. Can we talk about why that’s the case, and how we can support her sensory needs while keeping the class on track?”
“I want to check in about group work. He’s telling me he’s always left out. What ways can we help him participate meaningfully, without it becoming overwhelming?”
With other parents:
“I know my son sometimes blurts things out in ways that feel blunt. Please know it’s not rudeness—it’s how his brain processes and shares information. I’d love your kids to keep inviting him in.”
“At the birthday party, my daughter might step away if things get too loud. If you see her doing that, she’s okay—it’s just her way of re-regulating.”
“Sometimes he struggles to share toys, and it’s not because he doesn’t care—it’s that transitions are hard. I’m working with him on this, and your patience means a lot.”
If you’ve ever left a school meeting feeling unheard or unsure what to say next—you’re not alone. Our course “Teaching the Teacher” gives you the tools, language, and confidence to step into those conversations. Join us and discover that advocating doesn’t have to feel like a battle